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Honorable Ahmad Karzai, the Head of Masterminds in the country
Honorable Marshel Fahim, the First Mastermind in the country
Honourable Ustad Khalili, the Second Mastermind in the country
Western Democracy in Afghan Style
Written by: Shamsulhaq Haqani
Translated in to English by: Fateh Sami
Presidential Examinations Commission
Undoubtedly democracy is an advanced social system, but even this system primarily overlooked the expertise of the above three masterminds. A democratic presidential election on the basis of majority voting contains certain deficiencies, which fail to rule the country judiciously. The majority vote’s count, as a sole criteria void of any deliberation for taking over a leadership role, is just an example of its inadequacies. This is because even if the elected president is a murderer, illiterate, incompetent, thug and corrupt person, if he has, by hook or by crook, manipulated to achieve the majority vote, then there will be no legal barrier which prevents him from becoming the president.
Political lawyers and sociologists in Afghanistan observed the inadequacy of the majority vote, as being a western model of democracy, and rectified it intelligently by replacing it with “presidential examination” to make it more compatible to the Afghan model of presidential election. In this election competency and proficiency which are determined as a result of an examination, are a major prerequisite for the highest positions.
In the newly introduced “presidential election” model, hundreds of Afghan learned scholars, academicians, literary men, experts and professors from various fields of economics, law, philosophy, arts, theology, social empirical, natural sciences including people of wisdom with comprehensive insight on the world encyclopedias and almanacs participated to put their lifetime knowledge to test competitively. Consequently in a grand cloak (chapan) wearing ceremony, held in the presidential palace, the examination results were announced in the presence of hundreds of foreign and local guests.
Consequently, three men were announced as top scorers. The presidential winning teams, the highest mark holders, were awarded the honorary titles of the Head Mastermind, the First Mastermind and the Second Mastermind. Subsequently a green, yellow and brown colored cloak was handed over to each one of them.
To obtain the bright colored cloaks is not an easy task and requires tireless effort and hard work. However, the privilege of wearing the cloak compensates for the hard work and makes it all worthwhile in obtaining the highest mark. In accordance with the 420 item of the constitution of the country, owners of those cloaks are entitled the following judicial rights.
· The brown colored cloak owner is entitled to carry out of the country every month one million Us Dollars, 5 kg opium (narcotic drugs) and 3 kg lapis lazuli (laajaward) under his cloak.
· The yellow colored cloak owner is entitled to carry out of the country every month two million US Dollars, 10kg opium (narcotic drugs) and 6 kg lapis lazuli under his cloak.
The green colored cloak means a green light for committing any illegal action with complete legal immunity, thus being entitled to carry out of the country all possessions and belongings and whatever else that exists in Afghanistan, under his cloak-and- swagger wardrobe.
The above short article, written in a satirical style, depicts the way the Afghan intellectuals look at the scenario of the presidential elections in Afghanistan. They also contemptuously demonstrate their resentment to the way their homeland is being ruled in the name of democracy and election, under the auspices of foreign military forces.
The three slogans of fighting against Al-Qaheda terrorists and Taliban notorious regime(1), Reconstruction of Afghanistan (2) and Eradication of poppy cultivations (3) still vibrate loudly in the ears and minds of Afghan people since the outset of Karzai’s installment in power, after the 9/11 aftermath.